Karrie's Box of Thoughts

Friday, September 10, 2004

So he up and did it! Well this is my blog and I'll cry if I want to!!

So while all over the forums and blogs there are happy words of congrats and best wishes, this is my blog and I'm taking the other route.....I'M BUMMED!! There! Somebody said it.....

This is a part of my life that is the fantasy, the part that is my happy place. The fantasy that thought that while Joe was still single, I would still have a shot at him. (The fact I'm happily married of course does not factor in to the fantasy. Nor anything else related to my looks or what not... lol) And before you read this and think "Uh oh, psycho fan" hold that thought and let me finish. This ramble has been kicking around in my head for awhile. All the way back to the fever a while back about the "Obsessed Def Leppard Fan".

Is it obsession? Yes, to a point it is and I'll gladly admit it. I mean, think about. I have liked a lot of bands over the years. Do I have pictures of those bands up in my cubie? No. Do I pop into their sites and forums? No. Do I go to multiple concerts and follow them around? No. Do I defend other bands and stand up for liking them? No. Do I hook up with other fans and discuss (at times every subtle nuance) of the band? No. Do I go on Ebay and buy memorabilia and DVD's and bootlegs? No. But I, and many like me do that with this band. Why? No hits in a long while, pretty non-existent media coverage, no radio play, especially in major markets (usually just "flashback/80's" segments), and so on..... We (and I do mean we) have just connected to this band and that connection is a part of my life but not my life. However, there is that 1% of me that lives it and loves it.

Look, 99% of my life is the reality of LIFE. The marriage, the health scares, the kids, the job, school, the mortgages, the rest of the bills, the dance lessons, the hockey practices, the rest of my psycho family and so on.... That 1% is mine! That little part that let's me step away for a little while so I can deal with all the rest. And I relish it. I admit it. I'd rather go to my "Happy Place" with a band or band member then take too many shots of alcohol, pop a pill or stick something in my veins. And I have this band to thank for allowing me to find a group of some of the greatest people in the world, that I would never have had the opportunity to meet if it hadn't been for this "obsession". People I now consider friends. No matter how sappy it may sound, for that reason alone this band will always hold a special place in my heart. For being responsible for bringing such an interesting group of people in to my life.

Yeah, Yeah... The 99% of me that lives in the real world is happy IF people in the real world find someone that makes them happy and want to spend the rest(?) of their lives together. But that 1% is bummed that Joe has the audacity to do this to me and mess up my fantasy!! He messed with my happy place and I'm not in the mood for gushy false prose of happiness!

And I know I'm not the only one. I'll admit it, that yes I have a "healthy"obsession and I know others of you out there are secretly bummed too. There wouldn't be all those "I LOVE JOE" sites out there if I was the only one thinking about JTE. That's the fantasy talking and it's the part ranting and raving right now. And I don't care! Thank you sooo much Mr Elliott for throwing me into 100% reality mode and screwing up my 1%!!

Yepper Doodles!! I'm a Wife and Mother of two, married 18 years with a crush on a middle aged, middle of the road looking "rockstar(?)" And I'm acting like a 14 year old girl that just found out Justin married Cameron! Oh well! It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to.....

Oh, have no fear! I will adjust. I will still go to the concerts, I will still be standing there licking my chops. But.... I might be letting my gaze wander around the stage a little more.... That's the great thing about fantasy - they can always change! *strolls off singin'* " Yo Oh! Yo Oh! A pirate's life for me..... *Wink*

As told by moi12:16 PM ...

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