Karrie's Box of Thoughts

Friday, February 24, 2006

A Friday Giggle:

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.

She picked up mething off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" my daughter asked.

"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs," I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff.It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

"Oh, I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test,you have to be the daddy."

"Exactly," I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.

Have a good weekend everyone!!

As told by moi4:25 PM ...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

It’s seems the world has gotten along quite nicely without a blog post from moi. But I’m sick of looking at the same old thing myself, so I guess I’ll post a little something.

Basically it’s been work, work, and work. Extremely busy….. I get home just in time to get things ready for the next day and then jump back I car to take Emily to dance. By the time we get home, I’m ready for bed. What an exciting life I lead *yawn* even I’m bored.

We got thrown a bit a twist from Glenn’s direction. Seems Lacrosse practice started a month earlier then any of us anticipated. Instead of starting in March, we all got an email the beginning of February. Luckily (or unluckily) half the team is currently playing hockey with Glenn so when he doesn’t show, he ain’t the only one! But, the coach is a hockey dad himself, so he understands. But it means the boy-child is going nearly every night, which I’m not to keen about.

Boy-child has had an out of town hockey tournament nearly every other weekend since the New Year. Emily and I haven’t been going, we’ve had T-Birds tickets for every weekend and Em will not give up the chance to see the boys! And between you me and the fencepost, I prefer not using the vacation time right now and saving it for other things later this year. So Dad and the boy have had some lovely bonding moments out on the open road. And Mom and the girl have had some lovely bonding moments boy-watching @ Key Arena. I have to say that the girl and me have made some awesome entrances; Kent has been riding with another dad to some of these games, which leaves his oh so cute fire-engine red Ranger 4X4 sitting in the driveway just itching for moi to cruise down to Seattle in it! Add to that a certain CD that sounds killer and the girl-child and I have a blast on the ride down.

So life is what it is right now. I’ve been popping in when I can to see how all of you are doin’ and I hope all is well.

Chat Later!

As told by moi9:35 AM ...
Monday, February 13, 2006

I've been too busy to write up something myself, but I heard this on National Public Radio and it gave me a giggle.

WHAT I’D SAY TO THE MARTIANS
by Jack Handey

People of Mars, you say we are brutes and savages. But let me tell you one thing: if I could get loose from this cage you have me in, I would tear you guys a new Martian asshole.You say we are violent and barbaric, but has any one of you come up to my cage and extended his hand? Because, if he did, I would jerk it off and eat it right in front of him. “Mmm, that’s good Martian,” I would say.

You say your civilization is more advanced than ours. But who is really the more “civilized” one? You, standing there watching this cage? Or me, with my pants down, trying to urinate on you? You criticize our Earth religions, saying they have no relevance to the way we actually live. But think about this: if I could get my hands on that god of yours, I would grab his skinny neck and choke him until his big green head exploded.

We are a warlike species, you claim, and you show me films of Earth battles to prove it. But I have seen all the films about twenty times. Get some new films, or, so help me, if I ever get out of here I will empty my laser pistol into everyone I see, even pets.

Speaking of films, I could show you some films, films that portray a different, gentler side of Earth. And while you’re watching the films I’d sort of slip away, because guess what: the projector is actually a thing that shoots out spinning blades! And you fell for it! Well, maybe not now you wouldn’t.
You point to your long tradition of living peacefully with Earth. But you know what I point to? Your stupid heads.

You say there is much your civilization could teach ours. But perhaps there is something that I could teach you—namely, how to scream like a parrot when I put your big Martian head in a vise.

You claim there are other intelligent beings in the galaxy besides earthlings and Martians. Good, then we can attack them together. And after we’re through attacking them we’ll attack you.

I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves. But you have treated me like an intruder. Maybe it is not me who is the intruder but you. No, not me. You, stupid.

You keep my body imprisoned in this cage. But I am able to transport my mind to a place far away, a happier place, where I use Martian heads for batting practice.

I admit that sometimes I think we are not so different after all. When you see one of your old ones trip and fall down, do you not point and laugh, just as we on Earth do? And I think we can agree that nothing is more admired by the people of Earth and Mars alike than a fine, high-quality cigarette. For fun, we humans like to ski down mountains covered with snow; you like to“milk” bacteria off of scum hills and pack them into your gill slits. Are we so different? Of course we are, and you will be even more different if I ever finish my homemade flamethrower.

You may kill me, either on purpose or by not making sure that all the surfaces in my cage are safe to lick. But you can’t kill an idea. And that idea is: me chasing you with a big wooden mallet.

You say you will release me only if I sign a statement saying that I will not attack you. And I have agreed, the only condition being that I can sign with a long sharp pen. And still you keep me locked up.

True, you have allowed me reading material—not the “human reproduction” magazines I requested but the works of your greatest philosopher, Zandor or Zanax or whatever his name is. I would like to discuss his ideas with him—just me, him, and one of his big, heavy books.

If you will not free me, at least deliver a message to Earth. Send my love to my wife, and also to my girlfriend. And to my children, if I have any anyplace. Ask my wife to please send me a bazooka, which is a flower we have on Earth. If my so-called friend Don asks you where the money I owe him is, please anally probe him. Do that anyway.

If you keep me imprisoned long enough, eventually I will die. Because one thing you Martians do not understand is that we humans cannot live without our freedom. So, if you see me lying lifeless in my cage, come on in, because I’m dead. Really.

Maybe one day we will not be the enemies you make us out to be. Perhaps one day a little Earth child will sit down to play with a little Martian child, or larva, or whatever they are. But, after a while, guess what happens: the little Martian tries to eat the Earth child. But guess what the Earth child has? A gun. You weren’t expecting that, were you? And now the Martian child is running away, as fast as he can. Run, little Martian baby, run!

I would like to thank everyone for coming to my cage tonight to hear my speech. Donations will be gratefully accepted. (No Mars money, please.)

As told by moi8:25 AM ...
Monday, February 06, 2006

Oh Well..... At least it was a decent game to watch.
Congrats the the Steelers and their fans.

As told by moi7:40 AM ...